My son got me thinking. He brought up a conversation that I have thought about often since I was a child his age. He was talking about a situation where we would be expected to see something as 'wrong'. It seemed pretty straightforward, a clear cut kind of scenario. But he ventured over to the other side of the fence as it were, and argued the point from the opposite angle. And all of a sudden, it wasn't so clear cut. If you looked at the story from the other side, it just became a mirror image, and 'wrong' could easily become 'right'. Huh.
One of my favourite classes in university was Relativism. Basically a whole course on what my son summed up in one story. The idea that there might not actually be a thing called Truth. There is only our idea of what is true. And that idea is different for each person, culture, era, geographical location, religion, philosophy. Everything is just a story. A story we tell ourselves so that the world around us makes sense and feels safe. When we can put every person and every situation into a box with a label on it, then we have order. And when everything is in order, the world is not so threatening.
We all get that. But where it gets really, reeeeally interesting, is when we drill down and explore how minute these stories get. They can filter down to the most microscopic levels of our thinking. It's simple to see criminal activity as Wrong, and philanthropic activity as Right. These stories are easy to understand and identify with. (Although even these may not be universally true). But how about the some of the small stories we tell ourselves. Maybe we like to put our family and friends into character boxes. Like; 'my friend Anna, she is a neat freak and likes everything to be in order. My friend Ben, he is chaotic and impulsive. These are the boxes and labels for Anna and Ben. I have known them for the last twenty years, I categorised them back then, and I have kept them neatly in those boxes ever since.'
But you know, Anna and Ben have most likely changed over those twenty years. Life has happened and experiences have shaped them, and their journey has brought them each to unexpected places. And all of this leads to growth, and change. They may not fit those boxes any more, and if we try to keep them in there, it's a bit of a 'square peg, round hole' situation. Our relationship is now based on a story we have told ourselves, rather than actual reality. Friendships and relationships ebb and flow over the course of a lifetime, and to maintain them, we have to have some flexibility in our thinking. We have to allow space for change and growth so that the relationship stays authentic. Our friends are not static characters in the drama of our life, they are fluid souls who are constantly morphing and adapting.
Which means....... WE are fluid souls who are constantly morphing and adapting. I am not the person who was Me at eight, or eighteen or twenty eight. Those are three different Me's. Me next week will be different to today. What is true for me, about me, today may not be by then. For you too. There is such freedom in this. There is no reason to ever allow yourself to be confined to a story. Maybe when you were a young child, you carried a little bit of weight. Maybe as a result you were described in your family as the chubby one, and now as an adult you are still telling yourself this same story. Or maybe you were told years ago that you are not clever, and again, years later, you are still limiting yourself by repeating this story. It could be any one of a million things. Stories that were told to you, about you. That have no basis in reality now, and that perhaps were never even true to begin with. Only a story, told by a particular person with a particular view of the world at a particular point in time. Only a story. And yet it has had a hold on you for all this time.
That's the deal with the stories that people have told us, about us. But what about the stories we created ourselves? At some point in time and perhaps based on one particular event, did you build a story called 'This Is Me' ? Have you held on tightly to that story ever since? And has life presented you with challenges or opportunities that you have walked away from, telling yourself 'I can't do that, that's not Me' ?
But......, this is YOUR story. You are the one writing it. You get to say what character you play. And stories are powerful. The story we dream up has the strength to become reality. The strength to become the 'truth'. Your life up to this point has no doubt proved this to you, although not always in positive ways. The story you write, now, is limited only by your imagination. Maybe it doesn't take much imagination at all, because you have always known the truth of You, but Other Stories were throwing a cloak over it.
Life pulls us out of alignment all the time. When we lose our centre and our grounding, we can really easily forget the power that each of us holds right at our core. We get distracted, overwhelmed, scared, stressed, drunk, high, angry, depressed. Emotions and states of mind that are like hands grabbing at us, and pulling us left and right. If we come back to our centre, to that beautiful place of stillness and peace right at the glowing nucleus of our being, then we can remember the awesome strength and power and magic that we are the masters of. When I remember this, I feel absolutely giddy with excitement! The story is mine. The truth is mine. I am the author, the artist, the creator. I am not a character in someone else's story. Every day that we are given another shot at this one beautiful life, we have a new story to write. A fresh page. A pen full of ink. Another chance to create something beautiful.
This One Beautiful Life. This Beautiful Story.
'Once upon a time.........'
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